Money Mess!

So recently i bought Cleo magazine(July 2010 edition) and was going through the pages as i would normally do..beauty and fashion catches my eye usually.well, i'm a girl..hehehe..anyway..as i was flipping through the pages there's this article..well not article but a quiz actually that says "are you in a money mess?"..and quickly my eyes went straight to the results(oh well aku kan pemalas gila nk wat quiz mcm ni pon xlarat)..
I read the column under "mostly C's, your money's a mess"..inside of me knows that is the result i deserve and suits me the most so I can't be bothered by mostly A's and B's. Here's the thing..i'm lousy at keeping money..very, terribly, lousy..i spend like crazy and the allowance my parents gave me(which is more than enough for a normal student like me) is never enough..i kept asking from them and as would any loving responsible parent would do,they will give it to me :')..and if they think they had enough of my shenanigans and would not me give any extra cash, stupid me will borrow from my sister(i wonder why she has more cash). I spend it mostly on clothes and expensive food..gosh what was i thinking..igt anak tan sri ka..even the movie Confessions of a shopaholic pon x menginsafkan aku..ish3..My.spending.is.horrible.
Anyway the result says "you need to prioritise-your mortgage, tax and utility bills are more important than your fashion buys" and then boom it hit me. Although i wouldn't have to worry about mortgages and taxes now, I never thought of that..my necessities(food and transport) are way more important than those pretty jackets..and that is what i should keep my money aside for. Baba slalu ckp setiap kali aku mintak duit lebih.."kira betoi2 la spending u tu"..and aku tersgtlah malas nk kira finances aku.
But after reading that particular line in the quizs' result, aku insaf..weird huh..maybe that's the thing i needed to hear all this time..I have to watch my spending..i need to...especially now that my mother is not here anymore to support me and our source of income is only through my father. So i made a list off all my spendings and of course my priority on the list is food and transport. I try to cut down as many ringgits as i would on my food which means eating in campus regularly bcos it's cheap there and less mcdonalds and burger kings and secret recipes etcetera etcetera..After all the maths i've done on my spending list..aku puas hati ngan outcome dia..aku kira betoi2 every little thing that i need and cut back on what i don't need...i can even make room for savings after i calculated everything properly.. I don't know why la tp lepas aku wat list tu i feel sooooo good about myself. Hopefully i can adapt to it and i will!

Jawapannya saya malas!

I'm sooooooooo lazy..no wonder i never get anything right..tht's cause i leave it on and on and on until it's too late..simply because i'm a lazybum..malas.pemalas.malaih.lazy.penyegan. nk wat tu nk wat ni..
stop asking me kenapa x wat ni ni ni..awat hg biaq mcm tu mcm ni...arghhhhh...the answer is sebab aku malas!fullstop. no reason..just simply lazy..
kalo aku pemalaih mcm ni pon i'm still awesome..wonder what i can achieve if i am rajin..hehe

People always leave..

I've lost a number of people i loved so dearly..
I lost my beloved aunt last year and..
Recently i lost my mother..

And now kak dimo..
She's our maid..who is like a member of the family.
She will not be working in my house anymore..well she's, uh, transferring..
It's funny cause at first when she first came into the house, i didn't really like her..we all didn't. I guess i don't really like strangers coming into the house..
But after a year living under one roof and even celebrated puasa and raya together, i began to like her..
She's a really kind and warm-hearted person..and was close to my late mother..she helped her a lot..They were bestfriends..

And now the house feels rather empty without both of them..
I guess it's true..people always leave..

It's been 20 days..

I saw my mother 3 days ago..in her room downstairs..back when she was sick but still can walk,stand,sit,move on her own..and eat and drink..bleh melawak lg and talk and sembang2 with me and my sisters..i can hear her laughed..it sounded so sweet and so real..She was in her telekung with the purple flowers..it was her favourite..Everytime i went downstairs to check up on her she will be in that telekung sitting on the chair, praying or reading during her sick,difficult period.
Anyway we were talking, and sembang nonsense2 mcm normal and joke around and stuff when suddenly i was in my bed, awake, and crying to myself. It was all just a dream..a dream that i wish i stay on a little longer..It's been 20 days since my mother,mama, left me and my family,permanently. Mama telah kembali ke rahmatullah tanggal 11 Mei 2010..after 1 year battling with cancer..

Aku redha dgn ketentuanNya..i can't fight fate..sooner or later in live the things you love you'll lose..It was just her time..it's just that..i feel like i didn't spend that much time with her and there were so many things that i wish i had act or said differently towards her..Everything happened so fast..one day she's all jovial and normal and the next she can't speak and couldn't even move.

Here i am,with tears running down my cheeks,at 7.52am(still awake since yesterday)writing a blog for the first time,just so i can expressed this feeling i bottled up inside. This pain is unbearable..aku doa tiap2 hari spy Allah tabahkan aku..and of course i'll pray for mama..I know she's in a better place, Insyaallah..I love u ma..and i miss u so much..